How to Borderline personality: How to help you if you have...

Borderline personality: How to help you if you have Borderline Personality Disorder


People with borderline personalities rarely take care of the needs of others, although they demand that others support theirs, they do not last long at work and they are very sensitive to rejection. How can we help you?

At some point in our lives, be it at work, in family, or among friends, we have all come across someone whose behavior we have branded as extreme selfishness. It could be a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). To detect them –and help them– we must be very attentive to their ways of expression and behaviors.

  • They act without thinking of others. They are the typical kind of people who, without a word and without asking for an opinion, take command and change television channels at will. Who will always choose the best place or seat? That they feel owners of the belongings of others, in a constant message of “yours is mine”, but not vice versa, and that, rarely do they take care of the needs of others, although others have to support yours.

They go to their ball and, faced with the complaints of their companions, they will not feel any kind of shame or remorse.

  • They tend to change jobs very assiduously, either because they are fired or because they are leaving.
  • They almost always speak in the plural: “we have achieved, we have done, it has touched us”, referring to some achievement of a family member, partner or friend.
  • They usually do or try many things because someone has told them, even if they do not know if they like it or do not like it, or if it is what is appropriate for the situation.

If they are not affected emotionally or financially by some of the consequences of their actions, they will not be responsible for the negative effects they have on those around them.

  • However, they are excessively sensitive to rejections, even if they do not show it, since they experience them as the destruction of the unity with the others in which they are sustained. The abyss is installed in front of the void.


The work that we can do with this type of people is, fundamentally, to help them establish a mental separation of that symbiotic unit, which is made of two by one (between themselves and others), and that they believe is the best way of identity.

If there is no division between oneself and others, the individual difference is erased and neither exchanges nor possibilities of sharing can be generated on equal terms. The self is alienated from the others. How can we help you differentiate yourself?

  • You have to refer, one and a thousand times, the subject to wonder about what they want or can do, without resorting to others.

We must encourage them to calculate the effects of what they decide and try to anticipate the feelings that it may generate.

  • Emphasize the difference between what their achievements, decisions and opportunities are and those who have achieved those around them. Enhance your individual resources, without confusion with others.
  • Promote the idea of ​​exchange. If you receive something, you also have to be able to contribute something in return. It is not worth swinging in that you have nothing.

It is a good idea to remind them that you can always contribute something or something.

  • Faced with rejection and frustration, examine well the causes that have produced it and try to find out if it is not due to our own position of looking for a symbiotic double in otherness.
  • Work on empathy thoroughly. Based on a special loving relationship, a pet or something very dear, make him imagine the affective damage he would suffer if someone hurt him or passed him by.

It is convenient to instill the idea that others are people who feel and suffer if they are not respected.

  • Do some type of therapy that does not try to reproduce that search for a guru to guide them to reestablish some other symbiosis with some activity or with other characters? But let him not restore it with the therapist either, since he would only repeat himself and, at the slightest disappointment, he would leave to restart the cycle. It would have to be a therapy that made him work on and in himself.
MindFixes Staff
MindFixes is dedicated to promoting mental health, preventing mental disorders and advocating, educating, and serving all people with mental and substance use conditions. MindFixes is determined to persevere, learn, grow, love and laugh through our wellness journey and we invite all to join.


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