Emotions Detachment: avoid excessive desire

Detachment: avoid excessive desire

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Sometimes, we long for something so much that the same longing blocks us and prevents us from achieving it. The alternative is not to quit, but to cultivate detachment.

We believe that if we want something, we will achieve it. And if we want it even more, with determination, we have a better chance of reaching a goal, overcoming a challenge or being with a person.

We associate achievement with the classic virtue of hard work, determination, perseverance, even struggle. However, this belief does not always bring us to fruition. Because we often go overboard.

We do not know why the relationship we want so much, or the work for which we have sweated so much, gets out of hand. And we say that life is unfair, that we deserve what we want.

Psychiatrist David R. Hawkins discovered excessive desire to be an obstacle while searching for an apartment on Fifth Avenue in New York. When she almost gave up – and released her desire for the negativity of attachment – the apartment appeared in her life almost magically.

He tells the anecdote in the book Letting go (The mustard seed), in which, based on his personal experience, he proposes using forgiveness and “letting go” to maintain peace of mind and joy.

Hawkings explains that wanting literally means “I don’t have” In other words, if we say that we want something, we are saying that it is not ours and, thus, the psychiatrist explains, “we put a psychic distance between ourselves and what we want”.

This distance, to begin with, becomes an energy-consuming obstacle. Craving, according to Dr. Hawkins, blocks reception and produces fear of not getting it.

Philosopher Alan Watts stated: “ You can only get something when you discover that you don’t need it. You can only get it when you don’t want it. ” It is a paradox, but this is often the case.

That is not to say that we should not strive to achieve what we want. But we can do it without an excessive desire to stop us and, above all, without a fight. According to Hawkins, the fight produces a blockage. For him, the secret lies in “delivering the emotion of desire” in order to achieve a state of greater freedom and fluidity.

That doesn’t mean having no goals either: “We give up the emotion of desire and, in return, we simply choose the goal, lovingly visualize it, and allow it to happen because we see that it is already ours.”

We have to identify the objectives, even write them down, and then let go of the desire to achieve them. It is, again, about cultivating detachment. We do not give up the intention for the achievement, but we do give up the interest for the result.

Money calls money. In this time of crisis, we may know someone who has made money when he seemed to have thrown in the towel.

The Bible says: ” To the one who has, more will be given.” The Zen tradition sums it up with the following phrase, like a koan, that is, without logical sense: “If you have a staff, I will give you one. If you don’t have it, I’ll take it from you ”.

MindFixes Staffhttp://mindfixes.com
MindFixes is dedicated to promoting mental health, preventing mental disorders and advocating, educating, and serving all people with mental and substance use conditions. MindFixes is determined to persevere, learn, grow, love and laugh through our wellness journey and we invite all to join.

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