Caresses are like dreams they have the power to reconstitute us, with the difference that when we receive them we are awake. Living is something that is always done on the surface. It is the skin that touches the world, the one that deciphers it and tells the rest of who we are. To live is to put the skin at stake, to think with the skin.
But the skin, which is a mystery and at the same time an instrument of high emotional precision, needs, to do its job well, periodically recharge itself with energy, recover from the wear and tear of everyday life .
It is then when caressing acquires its full meaning caress relaxes, cleanses, fills the deposits of the soul, illuminates, humanizes. When we caress or are caressed we are reclaiming the skin as the center of existence, as the most beautiful and profound thing in existence.
WHEN THE WHOLE BODY IS SYNCHRONIZED, THE SOUL STOPS SUFFERING
Stroking is, as lovers and healers know, among other things, setting the body’s clock. Setting the time means: making all parts of the body suddenly give the same time.
Under normal conditions, the head is in one place, the heart in another, the feet go on their own, the back pulls in a different direction: we are, in this society of haste and anguish, fragmented bodies whose pieces often clash. And that only in a few moments they want a kind of essential unity.
Too many clocks arguing within us what will be the true time of what we are. When caressing, those clocks (that of work and dreams, that of reality and desire) sign peace: the body recomposes itself, the soul stops suffering.
That is why we sigh and squint when we are caressed: because the discussion of the clocks stops, because time suddenly stops waiting for us, because thanks to the hands and love that another places on us, worries cease and joy begins. .
INTELLIGENCE ON THE SURFACE
The hands know it, the skin knows it: caressing is one of the most important verbs in life. It is what gives her meaning, what heals her, what educates her sensitivity, what turns on the light, what calms her down.
By caressing the soul, it trusts the body again and the body yearns for a soul again. The caress is an act of affirmation of existence, a vindication of the joy of living. To caress, to be caressed: there is no greater intelligence.
KEEP ALL THE GOOD
To caress is to erase from the blackboard the excess words (the worn out, distressing, false words). The gesture is similar: a hand that moves from left to right, diagonally, up and down. The body, the blackboard: that hand leaves them blank again, available, attentive to the new proposals of life.
We pet a cat and it begins to purr. We pet a dog and it moves its tail vigorously or it lies on its back to offer more sensitive surface to our hands. We pet a horse and lower our heads to make it easier for us to do so.
We caress a baby and notice how it is delivered. We caress a plant or the current of a river or the wind or the sand of a beach and, if we are receptive, if we are connected with nature, we feel that they are the ones who caress us.
To caress is to participate in the essential happiness of everything that exists, to connect to the flow of life that passes through every being, no matter how tiny, in the world.
Stroking is an act of love and recognition. There can be nothing more beautiful and necessary. It is the way of telling the other that their body is part of ours and vice versa.
RUN AWAY FROM CARESSES THAT ARE NOT BORN OF LOVE
However, there are those who, as long as they do not feel alone, accept what psychologists call negative caresses , which are caresses that mark one out, caresses that are born of some black feeling (appropriating the other, hurting him, separating him from others) before love.
As long as you don’t feel alone, okay, because unwanted loneliness is an insufferable torture, but without realizing that this denial, this erasure and this damage are some of the darkest modalities of non-existence.
They are inhuman caresses that should never be accepted because it is better to be alone with the little light that one has left, or with the much shadow that one projects, than to become the ghost of oneself.
FROM NEURONS TO SKIN
Caressing is also synonymous with ambition, with strongly desiring something caressing the project of changing your life, caressing the idea of having more children.
Abstract caresses, caresses in the air, which refer to those other concrete caresses, skin to skin, of which we have spoken before: because to fulfill those objectives (change your life, have more children, go to another city, say goodbye to work, write a novel) it is necessary, first, to trust that it is the body that makes the decisions for one.
It is, in fact, moving the center of decision for the important matters of life from the head to the body, from the neurons to the skin. To caress is to get closer to the other, to dare the other, to be the other.
To caress is to travel with the hands to the heart of the other. During this journey the skin is recognized as skin, the hair is recognized as hair, the pores are recognized as pores, the fingertips are recognized as the fingertips, the back is recognized as the back, the sex is recognizes as sex: caressing is awakening the self-knowledge of each fragment of our body.
Self-knowledge, soul that which is not the body but without which the body would be nothing. By caressing we put soul to the body, we awaken the soul of the body. There can be nothing more necessary or more humane.