A death that could not be accompanied, a duel without farewells or tributes leaves a scar that is difficult to close. Solidarity and empathy are even more essential at this time
It seemed like a practical joke! It looked like a media conspiracy! It seemed that we were far away! We even thought that the hardest thing was the confinement and the exhaustion of our toilets! However, with each passing day there are more testimonies of people who are losing their loved ones. Yes, those beings of flesh and blood that, for the most part, are our parents, grandparents, uncles, friends. Those who, until a few days ago, secretly gave us money, hugged us, offered advice or criticism and they were part of our emotional life.
Suddenly they are gone! And we have not even been able to say goodbye in the way we would have liked, following social custom, because of hospital confinement, and even funeral. This entails some trauma, the impact of which will depend on the way it is managed, and the degree of proximity that unites us to them.
HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF DURING THE CORONAVIRUS CRISIS?
We all understand the reasons for these health and political actions in a crisis like the current one, but that does not mean that those who have to experience it personally are not subjected to great sadness. We are civilized beings and, unlike the animal world, we need to honor our deceased. Like Antigone, the laws of the city, rational and for the good of all, are not enough to calm the internal pain of a triple loss.
Like everything that is traumatic, those who have suffered a loss in these circumstances, will have to face these different dimensions.
- That of an absolute physical absence.
- That of not having been able to tell them, in their last moments, everything that their presence has meant in our lives and how much they will miss them!
- And that of not having paid them the homage they deserved.
Regarding the first, we can only relive all the memories we have. Don’t run away from them. That will surely hurt us enormously and possibly make us cry. Let us let ourselves be carried away by those feelings that are what continue to unite us with them. Those tears will be our little tribute.
There will be other moments. Those that lead us to share with others and find the empathy of those who also lost someone at this juncture, and even with those who, still not losing them, can imagine our anguish because they are in similar situations. It will be this part that brings us together and allows the human social dimension. Your complicity will be like an agreed wake.
And to dedicate our best treats to them, let’s plan them for the future. Let’s go thinking about having a great ceremony, with everyone we know; a meal, a meeting in which they can talk about him or her who met in their life. Choose an object that represents you and keep it as a small fetish that binds your spirit.
HOW TO ACCOMPANY THIS DUEL?
Those around the person who has lost a family member, friend or close friend can only empathize and help them in these different moments and stages.
Either by posting your message on social networks, which is happening very frequently, or by communicating directly, they have to feel that they are there, in case they need something, or just so that, as happens with the applause to our toilets, they can check that They are not alone, we understand their pain.
For the vast majority of the population this crisis will be a drama. A personal, family, social and economic drama, but for some, those who will lose human beings, it will be a true tragedy, a wound that will never fully heal. Let’s try to mitigate it by joining forces.