The suicide of a loved one can be one of the most painful experiences we can ever live. Expressing confusion, crying, and avoiding feeling guilty about what happened are some of the recommendations that can help us.
Unlike other duels, the suicide duel has a series of peculiarities that make it complex. Questions that cannot be answered, confusing and conflicting emotions and feelings, a great impact on relationships and family dynamics and, generally, a social framework that does not accompany the expression of the experience as it is a taboo event.
HOW TO MOURN AFTER THE SUICIDE OF A CLOSE PERSON?
Faced with such a challenge, it is essential to develop a series of attitudes. Following these tips can help you:
1. REMEMBER FREQUENTLY THAT YOU ARE DOING ALL THAT YOU CAN AND KNOW
Suicide bereavement is a devastating event in the broad sense of the word. No one but you knows the magnitude of its repercussions. Everything you feel, think and do is important and has meaning in the grieving process, so validate it.
2. FIND A SAFE AND TRUSTWORTHY PLACE WHERE YOU CAN EXPRESS YOURSELF
The social environment does not always present the necessary conditions for this. Suicide grief is unauthorized, making it difficult to talk about it. It is essential that you talk about what has happened to you and what you are experiencing. It is the first step towards acceptance. Remember that shared pain is more bearable. For this there are groups of mourners and specialized professionals.
3. BECOME AWARE OF THE EMOTIONS THAT APPEAR
Anger, anxiety, fear, sadness, loneliness, apathy, shame, guilt, they have an adaptive sense. Explore them, live them, and express them. No emotion by itself will annihilate you.
4. IDENTIFY EVERYTHING YOU DID DO FOR THE SUICIDAL PERSON
Guilt is common in these types of duels. It may help to remember that, crude as it may be, we do not have the ability to fully influence, act, and get to know other people.
5. RESPECT YOUR RHYTHMS
You are unique, you will need your time to elaborate the pain and the breaking of the bond. Psychological damage needs to be addressed, cured, and has its own recovery time.
6. REMEMBER SHARED HAPPY AND PLEASANT MOMENTS
In addition to suffering, the person who committed suicide surely lived some moments of joy. Remembering the happy moments does justice to the whole of your life. Remembering it like this offers you a broad vision and brings you closer to forgiveness.
7. LEARN TO FORGIVE AND FORGIVE YOURSELF
In my case, my mother gave me life, gave me love and took care of me. Thanks to her I am a healthy adult. She was my great teacher. He taught me absolute love and pain. It taught me to resist and surrender, to dream and to tolerate frustration. Here’s how I talk to her: Mom, everything is fine just the way it is. I miss you, I understand you, I love you and it still hurts a little. Your suicide has made me more mature and wise. Mom, I understand that living a life full of pain was very hard, I have also lived it in myself. We did not know and could not do more than we did. I feel at peace with you and with myself. I remember you every day, feeling both love and pain. I take care of my life and walk forward. You will always be with me.