Relationship The secret of long-lasting and healthy couples

The secret of long-lasting and healthy couples


Nowadays, no one is surprised when a couple breaks up or decides to divorce, even having children. What ingredients are necessary to ensure that love relationships are healthier and that they can become a path of mutual growth, that is, so that they are durable?

Before there was the idea that once they got married, people had to be together and live together forever. Thus, the couples were more durable, but we do not know if in all cases they were healthier. Today it is more frequent than before that our expectations of happiness are based exclusively on a good relationship. But is it really possible for a couple to last in a healthy way? Not always, although with large doses of will on both sides, it can be achieved.


  • In the same way that it is convenient for each member of the couple to assume their individual responsibility and not feel like someone else’s soul, it is also important that power struggles be put aside and learn to dominate our ego by being aware of when it is taking the reins in a couple’s argument and prevents us from listening to the other, putting ourselves in their place and seeing what the other sees.
  • Developing empathy will allow you to connect with the feelings of the other without losing sight of our own.


  • Before, couples used to maintain a common project such as building a home, a family and raising their children. Currently, projects can be more varied, although children continue to carry a lot of weight.
  • Maintaining a common project helps to dilute power struggles and makes the couple form a team and a force for a higher common good.
  • Also, for this common project to be possible and to motivate both equally, it is convenient that the members of the couple are not very different in nature.


  • Sincerity is another of the important bases of a lasting relationship. Otherwise, distrust will end up distancing us from the other no matter how much we want it: it will be more difficult for us to show ourselves as we are, fears will be triggered, and the conflicts that end up appearing in a relationship that lasts over time will be more difficult to overcome.


  • A couple that lasts over time necessarily goes through very different stages. In some, the other generates us a lot of happiness and passion; in others, not so much (being almost indifferent) or even a certain fatigue awakens us.
  • And it should be accepted because passion can regenerate again when the foundations of a relationship are solid and many of these states also have to do with what happens to ourselves and not only with what the other does.


  • It is important that between the members of the couple there is a frank relationship of friendship in which everything about the other awakens a genuine interest in us, as well as their path as a person.
  • It is about looking for spaces to talk and talk about everything that concerns us, be it the most everyday or the least and most transcendental. To do this, you have to be willing to listen and also to open up to the other by showing your naked soul.


  • The tenderness of a look, a caress, a gesture can build many bridges in this mysterious distance that separates two beings no matter how much they talk and love each other.
  • Tenderness can avoid misunderstandings and moments of darkness for the couple when they are going through complicated situations (an argument, an illness, a decrease in sexual desire). Tenderness makes love visible despite everything, as well as our desire to maintain the invisible ties that unite us to the other.


  • One might wonder if a couple really exists when there is no sexuality. It is true that love, tenderness and companionship are fundamental ingredients, but sexual relations should be cared for and stimulated as much as possible beyond obligations and childcare.


  • Expressing what we feel with respect and from what “I feel” instead of “you do that”, “it is your fault that ” will help to find a more constructive solution to a conflict between a couple, it will facilitate listening and understanding of the other. It is about finding a good way out for both of you, rather than being right and staying only with reason.
  • Communicating also implies asking what we need from the other, since no one can guess what we feel, want or think if we do not say it. Healthy communication requires the courage to show the other both love and anger, joy and sadness, strength and weakness. This communication will also facilitate good sexuality.
MindFixes Staff
MindFixes is dedicated to promoting mental health, preventing mental disorders and advocating, educating, and serving all people with mental and substance use conditions. MindFixes is determined to persevere, learn, grow, love and laugh through our wellness journey and we invite all to join.


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