Lifestyle There's a lot to enjoy after fifty

There’s a lot to enjoy after fifty

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It allows affective relationships, the pleasure of contact, the enjoyment of the senses and the enjoyment of nature to come to the fore during this period.

If we conceive of life as a process, something that the Nobel laureate Alexis Carrel liked to affirm, old age is its final phase, because in its death occurs.

Unlike what happens in tribal cultures, where the old man is cared for, revered and consulted for his equanimity and wisdom, and lives accompanied until his final farewell, in our narcissistic Western society, in which death seems not to exist and what counts is productivity, stereotypical beauty, power and fame, the elderly suffer from genuine social neglect.

The condition of “old” is a stigma that, accompanied by physical changes that cosmetic or surgical tricks do not hide, penetrates the individual psyche and forms a social prototype that seems hopelessly doomed to loneliness, illness, disability, life in a residence and finally death. More than a process, it seems like a path to the abyss.

Nor does it help much how much has accumulated in the backpack throughout the life excursion oxidized cells, worn out organs, circulatory slowdown, muscles in a state of chronic tension, reduction of some cognitive functions and of the immune system, perceptual stultification.

However, we often ignore that this state can be the result of a determined infantile dynamic, of an upbringing devoid of affection, repressive and generating distress because it does not respect natural rhythms, which worsens in adolescence, and culminates in the configuration of a pattern of organization of the personal structure tending to neurosis, dissociation and pathology, characteristics that mark the way of relating and functioning in youth and maturity.

YOU HAVE HALF YOUR LIFE AHEAD: TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT

What is considered aging begins around the age of fifty and can end in the age of one hundredHalf a life too long not to give it the importance and dedication it deserves. And not only to live longer, but to do so with dignity, quality, satisfaction and well-being in the broad sense of the word.

However, the reality is that many people, during their old age, see the already difficult social conditions in which they lived worsen and are led to marginalization, loneliness and numerous deficiencies. Even so, and contrary to the general trend, some people may experience greater inner joy, more satisfaction, capacity for affection and a willingness to find new and creative facets during their aging.

The reason is simple narcissism stops making sense. Achievement goals are no longer being pursued and the compulsive desire to feel productive disappears, no recognition, no money, no pretense is needed. The awareness of temporality, together with the reduction of certain character traits – phallic, hysterical, compulsive do the rest. It is therefore a vital moment where the immediate takes center stage.

LIVE SEX INTENSELY AFTER 50

I remember a very curious case. Ramón was 67 years old when he came to my office. He wanted me to give him my opinion on what was happening to him.

All her life she had suffered from secondary erectile impotence and she had never gotten over it. She has been taking Viagra for a few years, but stopped when advised against by her cardiologist. He began to associate with a woman much younger than him, Amparo, and from the first day he enjoyed sex with an erection. He had stopped suffering from impotence. The only explanation we saw was that this was the first time that he really wasn’t afraid of losing his erection.

He told me excitedly: they were in a small cove; they had gone to have sandwiches and a bath for dinner. The few people that remained left, and there, alone, looking at the moon, Amparo approached him and kissed him. They made love and both thoroughly enjoyed it. He realized everything when it was over, when he found himself hugging, lying down, looking at the moon and listening to the sea. Since that experience he had ceased to be powerless.

I also find it interesting to share the case of a couple who came to my office to see if they could enjoy their relationship more. They had been together for six months and they were both surprised because they were experiencing sensations that they had never felt before.

They were both widowers and had had other relationships. They met in a painting course. Juan was 74 years old; Rosa, 66. Their sexual relations were almost daily, but they did not dare to tell their friends or family in case they thought they were bluffing or crazy. I was delighted to see that they still wanted to get more out of life.

THE FIRST STEP: OVERCOME PREJUDICE

Obviously, these examples do not serve to draw general conclusions. Obviously, this is rare, but the fact that it happens means that it is possible. These people were not special, but they were open to life, they had abandoned moral prejudices and had given themselves a chance. What a rich teaching life gives us!

We have the possibility of developing some of the potentialities of the human being precisely when, objectively speaking, we have less time for it and our vital systems are more depleted.

If we apply the attributes of healthy old age to our youth and maturity, we will live those stages more intensely and the last one, in an even more complete way.

HOW TO CELEBRATE YEARS WITH JOY?

Leaving aside the clichés, aging allows you to feel vitality and the possibility of being free.

Here are some keys to follow this path.

  • Be aware that in the game of chess that is played with death, not only have you not been beaten, but you also have more experience to keep winning.
  • Manage time according to your rhythm and needs to discover new situations and relationships: meditate, exercise, pamper your senses.
  • Enjoy food, using organic products and simple diets.
  • Carry out intellectual activities and offer your knowledge in social gatherings or teaching spaces.
  • Allow yourself to express what you think and feel.
  • Share affections and emotions with your partner, children, nephews and grandchildren, with anyone who arises.
  • Sexuality, the ability to love, accompanies us throughout life; enjoyment and pleasure do not follow static patterns or schemes.
  • Claim your right to global and humanized health care, even in the management of your last move.
MindFixes Staffhttp://mindfixes.com
MindFixes is dedicated to promoting mental health, preventing mental disorders and advocating, educating, and serving all people with mental and substance use conditions. MindFixes is determined to persevere, learn, grow, love and laugh through our wellness journey and we invite all to join.

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