Insecurities Who told you that you were not worth it?

Who told you that you were not worth it?

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We all have beliefs that limit us, prevent us from developing or promoting our professional image and they are not true. Detect them and you can change them.

To train fleas, stars of shows of surprising success in the 19th century of which some say there are still some, they are placed under a glass bell from the moment they are born.

Thus, after crashing against the glass many times, they learn that, if they do not want to hurt themselves, they can only jump to a certain height. Later, when the bell is removed, they always jump to the same distance, the distance in which they have been trained.

To a certain extent, people function the same way. A bell has been placed on all of us that has limited our vision of our capabilities and of what we can do. But in reality, we are much more than we think we are.

Like the trained flea, we could jump much higher and perform more different jumps than we think we are capable of by conditioning. However, we limit and restrict our actions. We have been “trained” to behave in a certain way.

WHERE DO LIMITING BELIEFS COME FROM?

We will have more or less limiting beliefs according to the family environment in which we have grown up; they will always be more abundant if we have been brought up in an environment in which we have been forced to defend ourselves.

And if it has caused fear and we have been attacked with violence or devaluation (“you are stupid” or “you will not be able to”), it will have been very difficult for us to develop creativity: our energy will have been focused more on survival than on exploring capabilities. and potentialities.

Limiting beliefs will be less if we have grown up in an environment that has made us feel safe to respond to new stimuli and follow our impulses.

Just as fleas are biologically capable of performing different jumps even though they have “learned” to do them in only one way, many times we are blind and are unable to realize that we have many more capacities than we think . In the same way that the flea does not see the glass, in our unconscious we also have a glass that encloses us.

HOW TO BREAK THE BELL JAR?

We are only aware of this barrier when we have a wish and we do not feel capable of achieving it or fulfilling it. In this situation, it is worth identifying what are the limiting beliefs that distance us from it.

The most revealing signs are internal affirmations of the type “I cannot”, “I am not capable”, “I do not deserve this”, By pulling this thread we can identify what conditions us.

In fact, even if we have limiting beliefs, we are all capable of modifying them , as long as we are willing to carry out a new learning that allows us to get rid of them.

There are identity beliefs such as “I am a weak person”, “I am shit”, “I am not worth it”, “this is not for me”, in which the person remains locked. There is also cultural conditioning that fix behaviors for being of a certain gender.

A VERY FREQUENT EXAMPLE: IS IT HARD FOR YOU TO “SELL YOURSELF”?

This is the case of Maria. She came to my office very concerned because, even having been a marketing director and being used to selling and promoting products and companies, she felt unable to create her own image and make herself known now that she had decided to undertake a new facet as a freelancer to accompany and advise professionals.

She had the knowledge and tools to do it, but she couldn’t apply those resources to herself. We were finding out what his limiting beliefs were.

We discovered that he had a belief that “it is more important to help others than yourself.” Appreciating herself was for her typical of a selfish and pretentious being. Even more so if it was about showing it to others to get a job. When he imagined the possibility of promoting himself and explaining everything he knew, the idea came to him: “What will people think of me?”

I proposed to her to act as if she were one of the products that she had previously helped to sell. We made a list of the necessary steps to carry out a promotional campaign. The first thing was to draw up a list of the capabilities and values ​​of the product, so we got down to work to list Maria’s potential.

When we finished, after reviewing everything she had done in her life and seeing what skills were needed for it, Maria saw a part of herself that she had not been able to contemplate before. His self-image was expanded and he was able to recognize what things he could carry out and what things he could not, while before his gaze only took into account what he did not know or could not do.

Like a tree that twists throughout its growth due to the effect of the wind and then can grow straight again giving tasty fruits, María was able to learn to function in a new way, broader and more flexible with respect to the concept she had of herself. He was able to apply his skills and knowledge to promote himself and was able to build his own company and client portfolio, as well as his professional image.

BREAK WITH GENDER MANDATES

But in reality, her most limiting belief had to do with a cultural conditioning related to being a woman.

For a woman, as a rule, it is also more difficult for a man to assume the role of leader (because then it would be said of her that she is bossy). Another of the deeply rooted beliefs in our society is that the best way to act is to compete to always be first, win and leave others behind. It is a vision of the world very typical of the map of western man.

However, as we know, the map does not make the territory and to expand this belief, which in many cases is not only limiting but also strenuous, I will tell you a story.

It is said that an anthropologist played with a group of African children by placing a huge basket of fruit near a tree. He told them that whoever got there first could keep all the fruit as a reward.

To his surprise, when he started, all the children held hands and reached the basket at the same time. They sat in a circle around the fruit and enjoyed it together.

When the anthropologist asked them why they had decided to run like this, the children replied: “How could one of us be happy if all the others are sad?”. A good question, isn’t it?

MindFixes Staffhttp://mindfixes.com
MindFixes is dedicated to promoting mental health, preventing mental disorders and advocating, educating, and serving all people with mental and substance use conditions. MindFixes is determined to persevere, learn, grow, love and laugh through our wellness journey and we invite all to join.

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