We experience anger as a storm that will pass. But if instead of ignoring it and getting safe, we face it, we can use that anger as a creative force.
The relationship we have with anger, ours or that of others, is summed up in a phrase that we have all said (and that we have all been told on more than one occasion) “Don’t be angry.” As if we could, as if just by wishing we could stop being angry and, hey, continue as if nothing had happened. It is not like this.
When we are angry it is because there is some limit that has been crossed. We have felt violated in our integrity or powerless in the face of a situation. Therefore, anger serves as an indicator that there is an imbalance.
If we do not take charge, if we cannot see what is making us angry, what is the real reason and what are the limits that have been crossed, the anger may pass like the storm, but its remains will remain and they will accumulate, brutalizing us. And it won’t do any good. The next one will be worse, more frustrating, and we may feel even more unable to process it.
Why creative anger? Because we can create other possibilities, new realities with ourselves, with others and even with the circumstances that surround us. This creativity makes us move forward, grow and establish more harmonious and balanced relationships , first with ourselves and then with others.
TRANSFORMING ANGER INTO CREATIVITY: A FOUR-STEP METHOD
We are angry. Now we are going to take care of that anger. Let’s decide to work it and do it, in addition, creatively. Instead of letting it go, we will wonder what is really happening to us with anger.
2. LET’S FEEL
Feelings have to be brought to light. What is this situation making us feel? What are we experiencing on an emotional level? What we feel? How? Alone? Powerless? Frustrated? If before we have said that anger is an alert that something has been unbalanced, now it is important to shine a light on that which has been unbalanced. For this we must be honest with ourselves.
3. LET’S EVALUATE
Let’s ask ourselves what we need to get out of anger. If the situation has made us feel alone, perhaps we need company or feel that we are part of something, for example. Let’s analyze whether, for example, we have the conviction that the other person has disrespected us, or not.
4. LET’S OPEN UP
First to our own feelings, then to others. That means being willing to receive. To change perspective. To ask, of course. For example, if we feel that limits have been crossed that we did not want to be crossed, we will put them back in their place.