Relaxation You also count: reserve a space in your agenda

You also count: reserve a space in your agenda


Obligations tend to overwhelm us: we never have time to be alone. The fear of inactivity or the desire to please prevent us from doing so. Stop them!

Everyday life seems to make decisions for us. It defines the priorities, times, emergencies, the needs of our environment, obligations, illnesses of each other, bureaucratic procedures, shopping, household chores, even recreational activities.


It is not bad to keep life organized. In fact, we have endeavored to achieve some predictability and to survive with as little uncertainty as possible.

But sometimes we are at the limit of our physical and emotional capacity, and this is especially true in the case of women. Even more so if we are mothers of small children. We achieve that record only if our physical body no longer responds or if distress occurs, even if we do our best to suppress it.

People around us consider that we have a happy enough life, despite our many burdens. We ourselves judge it that way. And probably compared to other lives – ours is not so bad.

Now, at some point – due to fatigue, accumulation of obligations, overlapping tasks or because the stars have aligned – we feel overwhelmed. Stressed Subject to phenomenal exhaustion. Wanting to cry and with a lot of desire to be alone. I insist that in the case of women, the overload of obligations tends to multiply.

Then confusion appears. Pretend to be alone or alone when there are so many people who love us? Complain about something with the beautiful life we ​​have? Skip affectionate moments with our partner or with our children when we work a lot and the time available for family life is scarce? Are we selfish? Are we betraying the values ​​with which we have been brought up?

These and many other speculations are intertwined between thoughts, desires postponed and primary needs that we do not finish admitting.


Let’s accept it. We are as human as anyone else. We have personal needs that we may not have recognized in the past and that now resurface in the form of overwhelm or disinterest. We are certain that, sometime, our hidden desires and personal needs can take center stage.

We need a space for ourselves. How would we manage a conjuncture without time, without borders, without purpose and without a defined form? Like all daily activities, work, family or social, time for ourselves also requires a specific place on our agenda. If we cannot make it appear in our personal notebook, it will be difficult for us to establish it and then respect it.

In those cases, frustrated by not being able to set a privacy lapse, we will blame those who demand our attention. But we ourselves have to make a genuine desire visible.

So here is the first step: define a time for our personal use. Monday mornings, Saturday noon, Thursdays and Fridays between leaving the office and supposedly arriving home. Whenever, as long as we honor that opportunity.


However, it is essential that those around us are aware of our new personal will . Whether they share it or not, like it or not, we have just made a beneficial decision for ourselves, therefore, it will end up being beneficial for everyone.

Therefore, the second step is to inform the people around us: partners, children, friends or parents of our decision. And we will ask them, not only that they respect that small period dedicated to ourselves, but above all that they become guardians of our fragile determinations.   


The third step is the most complex: deciding on what to invest that “excess” time.

We are probably not used to contacting our desires, sent in the shadows since we were children. Unattainable longings, lost dreams, or extravagant interests. It does not matter the label with which we have managed to remove those cravings from our lives. Now is the right time to dig them up and let them fly.

We can fill that own space with a specific activity, but also with an apparent lack of actions.

  • That is, we can finally sign up for the meditation classes that have been recommended to us so much, receive good tantric massages, participate in ceremonies with the sounds of Tibetan bowls, meet with dear friends, learn to knit, practice English or walk along the seashore. barefoot.
  • Or be quiet, find a place where no one bothers us and rest. To write. Climb. To swim. Cook. Or whatever we do or do not do knowing that it is for pure personal pleasure and without any purpose or result.

Now, does that personal space always have to be solo? What if we share it with someone? Of course, that site can be whatever we want it to be. Sometimes that personal space is shared with friends, with fellow interests, with our partners or with family members.

The important thing is to be sure that this environment belongs to us. That it is ordered in accordance with our well-being and our happiness. That we feel happy and fortunate for the life that we are harboring. And that then, everything makes sense. It is honoring the here and now, in deep gratitude to life.


Even if they are satisfying, those moments of emotional contact with ourselves are likely to touch us in a subtle way old hurts or sufferings from the past of which we may not have conscious memories. However, these regrets remain in our energetic space, vibrating and invoking the resurgence of pain, especially when we slow down, appeasing the vertigo of everyday life and allowing a certain degree of inner silence.

In fact, throughout our lives we have learned to overcome, often filling ourselves with concrete activities, work and obligations that functioned as anesthesia to mitigate our sorrows. Therein lie the true reasons that led us to permanent distraction, being careful not to leave cracks where our internal affairs could emerge.

We are already in a position to combine what has made us suffer in the past with the current capacity to confront those penalties without having to stun ourselves. On the contrary, we can free ourselves and establish many moments of encounter with ourselves without, for this reason, suffering any type of spiritual suffering.

Once we have achieved that respect for ourselves, then yes, we will direct our desires of benevolence towards those around us, knowing that if we are sufficiently anchored in our inner axis, we can love and be of service to others.

MindFixes Staff
MindFixes is dedicated to promoting mental health, preventing mental disorders and advocating, educating, and serving all people with mental and substance use conditions. MindFixes is determined to persevere, learn, grow, love and laugh through our wellness journey and we invite all to join.


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